Where are you
by Shievi
Summary: Between the fact that they are fighting to complete they focus, Someone is having problems. Vanille has nightmare and Lighting thinks to know how she feels, but what will happen, when Vanille finally find Fang and Lighting discover the truth?    Vanille/Lightning Claire /Fang  but the others are playing also in it.
1. I miss you

"Let's rest up for the night ." Sazh suggested. He stretched his arms above his head; his muscles groaning softly. He allowed himself to fall back onto the grass, closing his eyes; he soon became motionless and dozed off. Lightning looked over at her other two companions. Hope and Vanille also looked tired; so she took his request with a nod, agreeing.

Hope soon found and threw together a few twigs, setting up a small fire. Vanille kicked a couple of stones aside and sat down; her arms looping around her knees, her body completely beaten. She watched the fire's flames; the glow reflecting in her eyes. Lightning could see at a glance that something was deeply troubling her; but she refrained from discussing the matter. Instead, she set herself a small distance away from the girl and laid down. 

It was a dark night, no stars reflected in the sky and no moon made an apperance. After a few minutes of watching the sky she sighed; glancing sideways. She noticed Vanille was still sitting motionless; Hope too, was almost asleep.

When Vanille realised that she was being watched, she flashed across a small fake smile; hoping to avoid any questions.

"Go to sleep." Lightning said quietly. "Tomorrow is going to be a long day. " 

Vanille nodded in agreement and laid herself down. It took a while, but eventually she fell asleep.

* * *

><p>Lightning heard something soft. Opening her eyes slowly she noticed that the fire had burned itself out and darkness still surrounded her. Her eyes quickly adjusted to the dark. Looking down in the direction of the sound; she swiftly realized what was wrong. Vanille was laid with her head against her own body, weeping softly.<p>

But still the young girl slept; her body shaking heavily and tears rolling down her already wet face. Lightning sighed to herself. 

Vanille's lips moved slightly and Lightning had to concentrate.

"No, let her go." Vanille whispered.

Lightning quickly closed her eyes, sighing deeply. When Vanille's own eyes opened she jumped slightly; confused. Breathing heavily, she looked around. Through her narrowed lashes, Lightning noticed how Vanille quickly crept away from her, suddenly frightened when she saw who she was actually laid next to. Forgetful of being careful, the girl collided against a sleeping Hope, causing him to moan loudly and alert the now; very wide awake Sazh.

In alert the older man drew his weapon; frightful of what had awoken him. 

"It's nothing," Lightning said, before anyone had a chance to speak. She sat up quickly, addressing him quickly. "Vanille bumped against Hope." 

Vanille gasped. Realizing that Lightning had already been awake. 

Grumbling, Sazh laid down again, quckly followed by Hope. Vanille in shame; placed her hands over her legs and looked down. 

"I will stay awake for a while," she said shakily. Lightning shook her head, her eyes fixed to the pale looking girl.

"What were you dreaming about?" she asked. 

"Huh? " Vanille stared with empty eyes briefly, before turning away. "Nothing..."

"That wasn't nothing, you were crying in your sleep." Lightning argued. Vanille looked descending, she bit her lip, looking for words.

"Listen if you don't wish to tell me then ..." 

"Fang,... I was dreaming about Fang. " She said quietly. 

"Fang?" 

"Mm, yes, I miss her, we were spilt up back on Cocoon. She promised she would look for me but ..."

"Oh .. when did it happen?" Lightning asked, curiously. Vanille shrugged.

"I don't really know. I don't care..." was her short answer. Lightning had begun to see through her persona, even through her joyful exterior, inside; there was a sad girl who missed a loved one. 

Filled with compassion, she moved closer to her. 

"Vanille." She whispered sympathetically, stretching out her arms she pulled one of the youngest members of their group closer to her and Vanille quickly hid her face in her neck. The tears were silent, but they were still there; still tears. 

Lightning was never very good at comforting, yet there was something there that was stirred up. An instinct perhaps; a feeling that she had to protect Vanille. Not that she wasn't doing that already, but this was different. She felt the girl tremble; there was no wind and it wasn't even cold outside. 

"Vanille?" She placed her coat around the shoulders of the shivering girl; then carefully brushed away her tears with her thumbs. 

"You should get some sleep." She suggested, carefully placing her down.

"But ..." 

"Shh, go to sleep." She said, silencing her. Vanille's eyelids felt too heavy to argue anyway and she quickly found herself asleep. Lightning noted that she still didn't stop shivering. For some reason she felt a glimmer of concern. She was used to being constantly concerned about Serah; and Vanille looked a little bit like her. Perhaps that was what brought the feelings up. She shook her head, deciding to get some sleep herself.

* * *

><p>The next morning everyone was awake apart from Vanille. The girl was tossing back and forth, shivering lightly. She was still pulling away, her skin even paler than before. Hope put his hand on her forehead carefully, maybe he could feel what was wrong if he really tried.<p>

Vanille quietened instantly. His touch making her relax. 

"She's just exhausted." he concluded. Lightning puffed in her typical manner. 

"Mmm, okay then; so we carry her." she stated. 

"Carry her?" 

"Yes, we don't want to be slowing down, not now." she used this statement as a useful excuse. 

"She has a point." Sazh added, shrugging. 

"Oh yeah?" Hope replied, clueless. 

"Yes... Sazh? .." Lightning gestured towards Vanille. He gently curled his hands under her light, ashen body; being careful as he lifted her in one swift movement onto his back. He placed her hands around his own neck so she wouldn't fall backwards. Vanille's response was positive and her hands tightened around him. She mumbled something small and fell silent again. 

Hope grinned for a moment. 

Vanille slept almost the entire way, until just after noon. When they decided to take a break from their constant walking; Sazh back put her gently in the shade, against the nearest tree, when she started to stir, she yawned quickly; noting how her vision was still blurry. 

"Hey, hey, look who's awake ." Sazh laughed. Vanille rubbed her eyes, the man's own eyes sparkling back in the sunlight. 

"Is she awake?" Hope's worried voice sounded from afar. 

"Yes she is." Sazh shot back in his direction. Vanille wanted to get up yet Sazh stopped her. "Sit down,we just need to take a break."

Vanille didn't reply, she was still a bit dazed by waking up. 

"Drink this." Someone was standing in the sun, directly in front of her. Blinking in the light, Vanille couldn't quite make out who it was, but the voice gave it away quickly.

"Thanks, Lightning." She drank the fresh, cool water gratefully. 

"Stay in the shade, you may have suffered sunstroke.'' Lightning said quietly. 

'Sunstroke... but... " 

"No buts." Lightning warned. She sat down beside the girl, giving Sazh a cue to make himself scarce, fortunately he understood. 

"I don't think you want the others knowing about your dream, right?" Vanille shook her head. "Therefore the sunstroke excuse, then perhaps you can rest without anyone asking questions." Lightning got up and left her for a minute. Vanille didn't often see this side to Lightning but she quickly realised that she liked it. She drank some of the water, before closing her eyes and leaning backwards against the tree. 

Vanille insisted after the break to walk again by herself; but her request was quickly turned down. Mainly from the fact that she was still paler than usual. She climbed back on Sazh's back and cursed many things. She hated this, everyone was actually enjoying this; even Lightning. 

By the evening, everyone had sought refuge. Vanille sighed as she was placed down, she couldn't protest much because of the soldier but she brushed away his arms. 

"I am not helpless, you know." she muttered. Sazh grinned back at her quickly.

* * *

><p>"Mnn... Fang... No... Let her go...!" Vanille moved violently from side to side, unaware that the others were wide awake. <p>

"Stop... no... Fang!" Vanille shot forward like a catapult, propelling herself upwards. She bumped against Hope's head and quickly fell down again. 

"Ow" she rubbed her head, cringing. Seeing Lightning and Hope both stood over her, the younger boy oblivious to the knock to his own head. 

Lightning quickly helped the girl up, noticing sweat beading across her forehead. 

"Hey." she greeted them akwardly, squeezing one eye closed. "You're awake already?" 

"You were having a dream." Lightning stated. 

'"Oh..." Vanille looked down at the floor, the dream coming back to her: 

_"Vanille, you have to go!" the tall, raven haired-woman said as she pushed her forwards. _

_"No... Fang, I ..."_

_'Vanille, listen to me. You have to, I'll manage ..." Fang looked frightful, shadows looming around the corner._

_"Go, Vanille! " She pushed the girl away harder. _

_"No, I .. " Vanille opened her mouth to argue but Fang pushed the elevator button. _

_"I will find you, I promise..." she said, winking. The doors closed just in time to see Fang being grabbed by one of the guards._

_"Fang... no, let her go... stop!" she cried loudly, banging her hands on the metal doors._

_"Fang!"_

She couldn't remember much more of her dream; it was all hazy... She rubbed her forehead, getting a headache from remembering back. This wasn't a dream, but a memory. She sighed, the others looking curiously at her.

"It's nothing in particular..." she lied quickly, not wanting questions. 

"Go back to sleep." Lightning whispered to her. She laid back down, compliying. Closing her eyes; a single tear rolled silently down her cheek.

"Fang... where are you?..."


	2. Wounds are deeper than it seems

A few days later nobody discussed Vanille's nightmare. Both Lightning and Vanille were silent about it. Sazh and Hope had some questions, but after that Vanille cheerful as "always" had replied: 'I'm just fine. "They had left her alone. Lightning walked a head. Fast and quiet. Hope like a little puppy behind. Sazh just before Vanille. Vanille looked from one to the other with thoughts far away.

_I need to tell them_

_**No, they will hate you!**_

_They need to know the truth_

_**They will kill you**_

_I deserve that!_

_**Then you will never see Fang ever again**_

_But,.._

_**You will turn into a monster**_

_Fang, would,..._

_**She' s not here!**_

"Vanille!" The red-haired girl came from her two fight. "Mm, yes Sazh ' "We must catch up with the others" He pointed up a head. Lightning and Hope were already distant prospect. Vanille nodded and started walking. A smile crept onto her lips as she felt the wind in her face. It made her think of home. "Come on, Sazh!" The man shook his head.

"Vanille, wait for me!" Panting, the two came closer to the others in the neighborhood. Vanille looked into the sky. "What is that?" Something came rapidly toward them. Vanille's eyes narrowed. She slowed her pace. "Mm? ... Oh "She looked down and then back to the air. 'No,' she thought.

'Hope, Lighting watch out' she screamed. She started swinging her arms, hoping for attention. Hope turned around. He smiled, thinking that Vanille waved, he waved back. Vanille kept yelling. Violently pointed at the sky. Hope looked now. He pale shot when he saw what it was. A large winged beast. Blue with purple feathers. Long beak and claws. Beads for eyes. It took a dive. Hope pushed the not noticing Lightning to the ground. To see at her reaction, she was fiercely curses. Only when the sharp teeth of the beast went next to her ears, she understood why. She grabbed her gunblade .

Hope scrambled up. His silver hair flapped back when the wings came along. "Come on!" Sazh pulled Vanille along to the others. Now the feathered animal flew toward them. Marked too late. They could not dive nor run. It opened its mouth and for Vanille, the world faded black.

'I'll always protect you_'_

'_Fang?'_

'Always_'_

'_Wait, I need you Fang, wait!'_

'_Fang!' She stumbled, as Fang faded away_

'_Fang?' Her voice quieter than a whisper._

'_Fang!'_

Vanille's eyes flew open. She came up with a jerk. A stabbing pain in her right shoulder. "Fang?" she squeaked, almost pleadingly. Soft footsteps reached her ears. "Vanille?" Gently she was pushed back down. Vanille barely noticed it. 'Fang' she wailed. She squeezed her eyes shut as a tear escaped. Her heart pounded in her throat. She forced herself to keep throughout.

"Hey, hey, hey, girlie, what's wrong?" Sazh voice sounded worried. Vanille opened her eyes again. He stood above her . The Choboco looked at her with a crooked little face. Vanille swallowed. Sazh had a scar on his neck. It still looked red, but also curable. His clothes had green stripes as if he had been rolling in the grass for hours. 'S.. Sazh' she choked. She heard some footsteps.

"Vanille?" Hope fell down beside her on his knees. "You okay, Do you have pain, why are you crying, why ..?" A hand on his shoulder silenced him . Lightning looked sternly. With just her eyes, she let him get up. Sazh gave Vanille a pat on her head and then he followed Hope outside. Vanille looked perceptibly to Lightning. She leaned against the wall and looked thoughtful. Vanille was nervous. 'L.. Lig ... Lightning "she managed. Vanille got her deep glance. That softened. "You gave Hope and Sazh a scare," she said monotonously. It gave Vanille the feeling that she did not care. She looked down and wiggled with her clothes. 'Oh ..' she swallowed 'Sorry'

"We must go soon so rest, I'll come back later." Vanille swallowed again, and found that it burned. She closed her eyes briefly. The dry taste in her mouth was sour. She whimpered. She could not be weak . Not for herself, Hope, Sazh, Lightning ... and Fang. Stubbornly she put her hands beside her body and pushed herself into a sitting position. She grabbed her shoulder . With as little as possible putting pressure, she knew to get up. Using the wall, she walked away. It was pretty well dark were she was. A frieze breeze made her shiver. She managed to get into the daylight. Dazed by the sun. She leaned heavily against the outside wall, now. The tension was high. 'Light!' could hear be calling. But she failed to lift her head. Her shoulder vehemently. She dropped to her knees, she couldn't hold longer anymore. She was panting heavily. A shadow region over her. Lightning looked angry and even harsher than before.

"What did I tell you, huh?" "That we need to go soon 'she replied boldly and tired. "Yes, and you must rest. I can not afford to wait for you on the way. That wound can become infected and then we have even more problems. "

"So what? 'Vanille spoke against. Her eyes glowed already of the rising fever. "You're hurt? You Rest? "Thought not. If you do not rest, I don't rest . "She felt a bit forward. She put both her hands on the ground, in order not to fall. Lightning knelt. She put her hand on her right shoulder. How did Vanille know that she was injured? Vanille again began to think that she could not overcome weak. Determined, she jumped up. Not the best idea. Lightning rolled her eyes, crossed her arms, shook her head and sighed.

"Give her her way 'said Sazh . He stood there with a loose attitude. "It's a win-win situation. She can rest and you do not need to worry ' "I'm not .." Lightning did not finish her sentence. Vanille looked with big pleading eyes. Oh, no. She had to think immediately of Serah Would she ..?

'Fine' she gave in. Vanille leaped with joy. Grabbed straight to her head. Lightning stopped her from falling over (again). She sighed. "Come on " She led the redhead back inside the cave. Actually there was quite hot and fresh at the same time resting.. Lightning helped Vanille to lie down. Her hand brushed against the young adult and her forehead. A slight increase made her a little worried, she didn't let it see. She dropped a thin blanket over Vanille. Self she went a little further away. Thoughtful. The cut wound down her knee carved, burned softly. Perhaps Vanille was right she had to rest actually

'Light?' she heard Vanille say hesitantly.

"What?" There was silence. The cold attitude of her, had her silenced. "Vanille, what is it?"

"Um, N. .. Nothing, leave it 'She raised her head and could see the figure gently shaking. She sighed. She knew what she wanted to ask. Shescooted over to her and lay beside her. Vanille herself turned on and wrapped in the warmth of the ex-soldier. Lightning could feel how cold the body itself was, despite to increase. Lightning 's arms went over the tender body around in her attempt to get warmer. Both fell into a deep sleep fast.

* * *

><p>The sun was already under when Lightning woke up. She felt something banging. She opened her tired eyes. Vanille was raging fiercely. With her fists, she hit Lightning, delirious. Her warm breath was heavy into her neck . Vanille muttering unintelligible things. Lightning grabbed her wrists. Vanille reacted on it. She tried to free herself struggling. Sweat blotted her forehead. Tears flowed down her cheeks as pools. She looked pale, the tears left red lines after. Lightning could hear the pounding heart of Vanille, anxious. The girl wiggled and winced.<p>

"Vanille, Vanille" said Lightning. "Wake up!" After a while she realized that it made no sense. She took the two wrists in one hand. With the other hand she rubbed Vanille 's back. She still struggled hard against. Gradually decreased the bumps and Vanille was quiet. Lightning drew her attention to the pale face. She looked with gentle eyes into the ones of Vanille. The eyes of the redhead looked scared and sad. The tears had stopped by now. Vanille pushed herself away from her. She sat up and rubbed her tangled hair from her face. Then she stood up. Not thinking about her shoulder, she walked away. Lightning continued to look after her. The girl needed space to put everything in a row, she knew it. As long as she didn't pushed her feelings away as she did. The sun slowly appeared on the flat horizon. Hope and Sazh were both awake. Hope noticed immediately that one person was missing. "She's walking a bit," said Lightning. She stood up. "I'll go, .."

With a fast pace, she left the two. She found her sitting staring forward. Her pigtails flapping in the wind. Her pale skin was illuminated by the rising sun. The shoulders of the young man had been dropped. She looked really sad. Man, Lightning could not stand it. The girl didn't heard to be sad, not at all. Lightning did not feel like Lightning, but as Claire now. She quickly shook her head and pushed the emotions away. She came closer and saw that her arms were over her legs developed. Her eyes traveled over the back of the youngest girl. The wound on her shoulder was not unnocible immediately. He had a green color, something told her that it was not a good sign. There ran a dark bloodline over her shoulder. Lightning took out a dust cloth. She knelt behind the not noticing Vanille and wiped the blood away. Vanille stretched at the touch . With her free hand Lightning went to her other shoulder. She made a soothing gesture. Vanille relaxed a bit. "The others are awake, you come?" She bowed her head. "I do not know" came a muffle ' "Vanille"

"No, Lightning!" You do not understand. You do not know how it is. Everything is my fault. The misery of this world. "Her voice fell away. Lightning thought to understand everything going on in her head. She had just such a feeling as with Serah. She had lost her by her own actions. Her cold attitude toward her. Vanille began to lean into the touch. Not everything rests on your shoulders, Vanille. Let it go okay "She did not know what else to say. "I, mm, okay "Vanille pushed herself upright. "Let's go back!" Without more wasting time she walked back. Lightning looked after her. She had had no idea that such a cheerful person could be so down. Vanille really looked Serah. Always laughing. Vanille skipped happily back. She shook her head and went after her, slightly worried about her. She had the girl feel shivering and it wasn't right for her. She shrugged and looked went to run next to Vanille.. The sun shone on them both. She began to think again of Serah. What did she missed her sister. They both did have something in common. Both they missed someone special on their side.

_"Vanille" she thought. "You're weird, but I like you. Who you are looking for, who this Fang is, we'll find her '_


End file.
